How I Use Fashion as a Weapon in the Fight for Individuality
“Ready to go?” My boyfriend peeks at me from the other side of our 500-square-foot apartment, patiently waiting as I get ready for our date.
Oh shit, I think. I look up and smile, “Yeah, just give me two minutes.”
I’m nowhere near ready to go, but this is the Olympic sport for which I have been training since I bought my first pair of wedges at age twelve.
You got this, bitch.
I scurry across my bedroom, past piles of scattered skirts and discarded dresses, making final touches as I move frantically from one corner of the room to the next. I put on earrings by the bookshelf, fasten my belt in the closet, reapply lipstick while perched atop the bathroom counter.
When at last I’ve zipped into my brand-new boots, I saunter into the living room and casually straighten my skirt in the mirror, as if I didn’t just break the world record for fastest Fashion Finesse.
“Come on. We’re gonna be late,” I tease, strutting out the door.
Using Fashion to Foster Self-Love
How do you express self-love? Maybe you buy yourself red roses every weekend or indulge in regular bubble baths. Perhaps you take monthly cooking classes or find solace in Mother Nature’s embrace. Me? I spark self-love by playing dress-up. I use fashion to turn my insides inside out. Each time I pull on a pair of Levi’s or paint my lips pink, I wrap myself in a warm embrace, reviving my inner child and honoring my past selves.
When I button up my favorite princess dress, I’m suddenly eight years old and shamelessly self-assured; I shimmy into black ripped tights and am fifteen and furious all over again. Fashion is so much more than bags and brand names — it is a bridge between our inner and outer worlds, a medium for artistic expression, a call to creativity and self-exploration.
Reclaim Your Style
I was required to wear a school uniform every weekday for the majority of my life. To someone whose very existence centers around creative expression, being told what to wear is akin to a prison sentence. It seemed to me that my uniform’s only two purposes were to make my skin itch and to crush any semblance of artistic autonomy.
Since vintage brooches and mini skirts were reserved exclusively for weekends, I found small ways to imbue my uniform with touches of originality throughout the school week. Lace-trimmed socks, ‘70s-inspired glasses, and quiet acts of rebellion escorted me from Psychology to Theology. Yet, my personal panache only flourished when I was donned — head to toe — in my own collection of clothes.
When I was finally free from the shackles of wool blazers and formal education, my confidence soared to newfound heights. For the first time since I was a toddler, I was able to wear clothes that brought me joy instead of angst, that nurtured my creative expression instead of stifling it. I felt like myself again.
Intuitive Dressing
Do you remember what it felt like to be a child, before social institutions infiltrated your life, the grip of their henchmen tightening around your identity? Do you remember who you were before the cookie cutter of conformity was pressed into your soul, threatening to leave its mark for good?
If your childhood seems distant and elusive, here’s a little secret: clothing has the power to become a portal to your past. By dressing intuitively, you can reconnect with your roots and practice coming home to yourself. Start by self-reflecting. Ask yourself, “What makes me feel most confident? How do I look on the outside when I feel most alive on the inside?”
When you’ve finished reflecting, step into your closet. Gather garments that you naturally gravitate toward and play from there. Try not to think too much. Ignore preconceived notions of what looks good, and instead focus on what feels good.
Listen to your heart — your intuition — picking pieces that call to you and make you feel like a kid again, all giddy and self-assured. When you move from a place of authenticity, you’re allowing fragments of confidence and self-acceptance to seep into your psyche and bind your broken bits together.
The outcome may look strange or silly; some people might even think it looks downright bad. But the goal here is not to please others. The only person you need to please is the one living inside your skin.
Clothing as a Canvas for Self-Expression
If you’ve ever been coerced into wearing a tacky bridesmaid dress or an obligatory plaid jumper, then you know how demoralizing certain clothes can make you feel. What may seem like an innocent ensemble possesses the power to estrange you from yourself. If fashion has the capacity to make us feel small and self-conscious, then imagine the potential it holds for personal growth and profound transformation.
Each time I enter my closet, I’m Picasso with a paintbrush, instinctively selecting styles that suit my current mood and choosing colors that convey the essence of who I am to the world. When I’m feeling flamboyant, I experiment with neon prints and funky sunglasses; I save velvets and brooding colors for rainy days. And when I look especially short, I opt for platform sandals that suit the stature of my soul.
By dressing from a place of fun and freedom, rather than yielding to necessity and rigidity, I foster an environment where my being can fully bloom. Sure, by the time I’m finished playing dress-up, my bedroom is left in utter disarray. But amidst the clothing chaos, I’ve utilized my unique creativity to translate the intangible — a fleeting concept — into something tangible — a wearable work of art. And what’s a little mess when you’ve got the magic of individuality on your side?
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